Mimesis
by serpentine013x
Summary: Uh...Basicly what happens when you introduce strange dreams, bad quality television, Gondolier's Cream Wafers, and creepy booming voices into this already unstable family of misfits.. Rated for naughty language, suggestive tv programs, and bad sticky puns
1. Besmirch

DISCLAIMER. I swear on my sickly mother's grave, that I Trista Black, do not own any of which follows: Gondolier's Hazelnut Cream Wafers *bursts into tears* or otherwise, Pringles Sour Cream & Onion, The Simpsons (although I know them well), CN, CBS, HBO, JAG, Uh. whatever brand pop can that was, Jean's t.v., The sticky puns........  
  
RANDOM SAYING!!!: Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day, SET a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.  
  
************  
  
Rogue was dreaming. She was currently in a completely normal psychotic dream, where she was on a roller coaster. It was stuck in a loop.  
  
'God this is boring,' She said? But the words echoed, sending ripples through everything. She turned in her seat, shadows sat completely still in the other seats. There was one seat that was empty though, and she wondered whom it was reserved for.  
  
'What the?' Everything went silent except for her heartbeat, and then she heard a noise. It was a drum. It had a slow tempo, only sounding once in a seemed eternity. It began to quicken. Snow started to fall as the beat increased. It was cold, strangely cold, she suddenly found herself shivering uncontrollably. Then it wasn't cold any more, it wasn't anything. The beat matched her racing heartbeat, seeming to merge with her. The snow stopped. Two drums played on. And the shadows changed. They pulsed as they grew in size. The roller coaster was- were trees, in a grassy plain. The sky was dark; the shadows stood in front of her as frenzied beasts. She knew that if she didn't stop them then they'd kill her. They growled. She growled back.  
  
******************  
  
"There's like nothing on!" Kitty said, her eyes firmly attached to the TV as she changed the channels like a sugar crazed monkey in matting season (*grinning* so any bad images yet? no? well. don't be disappointed, there will be more.) on that blessed invention known simply as The Remote.  
  
"There has to be something on!" Jamie exclaimed from down on the floor. "125 channels and you cannae (A.N., I tried, I really did) find anything to watch?"  
  
"I know, it's like such a crock!"  
  
"See what's on CN!" Jamie suggested raising his hands and falling backwards.  
  
"I didn't know you watched the news." Jubilee sounded incredulous.  
  
"Wro-oo-ong cha-nnel!" Jamie said in a singsong voice.  
  
"That's CNN right?"  
"No, it's CBS," Bobby said and grabbed the chips.  
  
"Hey those are mine!" Jamie said sitting up and pointing at him.  
  
"Not any mor-urf!" Bobby taunted up until Jamie tackled him. Six Jamies suddenly fell upon Bobby, pulling his hair, twisting his arms, forcing him to pick his own nose, and other childhood fighting. But one fought with a vengeance. He punched him repeatedly before being pulled off by a deranged looking Amara.  
  
"Break it up before I go molten on your asses!" A muffled "She said a naughty!" came from somewhere under her arm.  
  
"Ya Amara, like why all the, um, hostility?" Amara dropped Jamie (three more!) and slowly turned to Kitty, a slight maniacal look to her eyes.  
  
"I don't know, maybe it's the lack of quality television. Or maybe I. just.need. to get.some.fresh air." Amara twitchily walked out the door. Her hand spasmed and a flame sprung from her fingers. She looked down at it, cracking into a huge grin. She bairly made it out of the mansion before she burst into flames.  
  
"Whoa! What was all that about?" A slightly frightened and disheveled Bobby asked, fighting off the remaining Jamies. Rahne shrugged.  
  
"Pyromaniac build-up, it'll happen from time ta time."  
  
"Huh-OWW! Stupid little piece o- GET BACK HERE! "He crawled out from under the Jamies then chased after the one who had kicked him in the ribs. The remaining eight ( I hope I calculated that right. lessee, 2 divided by 31.7 times.) grinned at each other and reabsorbed into the punching one. He plopped down in Bobby's couch spot.  
  
"It's just too easy, you want these?" He held the chips out to the nearest person. Jubilee just shook her head and turned back to the tube.  
  
"Like YES!" Kitty screamed and turned up the volume.  
  
"What is this?" Jubilee asked after several minutes.  
  
"It's like the best show ever!"  
  
"Um, but what is it?"  
  
"JAG," Rahne said and looked at the clock. "and it's almost over." Kitty's eyes nearly popped.  
  
"Like what day is it?!"  
  
"Um Friday."  
  
"NOO!!! And it's a new episode!" She fell down onto her knees, not looking away from her precious. It ended.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Kitty sobbed, curling into the fetal position.  
  
"It's ok, they'll show it again sometime," Jubilee comforted, patting her shoulder, it didn't help. Kitty sat up; with an insane look she began rocking and in a singsong voice.uh.sang.  
  
"You will be tainted, a re-run, but I will except you none-the-less. Till next time, next time. Tune in next time, later yes later." Rahne scooted away from her, but not before grabbing the remote.  
  
"Let's see what's on the movie channels."  
  
"Try HBO, they have some good stuff," Jubilee suggested. Rahne changed the channel; they all sat in silence wide eyed. Kitty stopped muttering and turned to Jubilee looking shocked.  
  
"NOT! What I was planning on!" Kitty just raised an eyebrow and turned back to the TV.  
  
"I didn't know we even got this stuff!" Jamie said entrapped by what he was seeing. They all turned to him.  
  
"What? I'm not that much of a kid; I do have a clue about these things. Kind of, I'm learning."  
  
"No you're not!" Rahne punched in a number on the remote.nothing happened.  
  
"Come on, change it already!"  
  
"Um, I think the batteries went dead."  
  
"Of all times!"  
  
Wanda quietly ran out of the room, grinning. Sometimes I love this power. Something appeared in front of her, she ran into it.  
  
"Hey vat are you doing here?" Kurt asked when he saw who it was.  
  
"I'm not supposed to be here, I got lost in the plot line-".  
PLOT LINE?! HOW DARE YOU!! I ALLOW YOU IN THIS SCENE, YOUR VERY DEBUT AND YOU GO AND INSULT ME THUS?! WELL I WILL STAND FOR NO MORE!! A disembodied voice.um.boomed. GET HER MY MINIONS! IT'S BACK TO YOUR CAGE YOU GO! A vortex of doom appeared and a murderous looking dragon creature flew out, it latched onto her shoulders and flew/dragged her into it. As a million squirrels swarmed around her feet. They all disappeared into the void. Kurt just shrugged and headed outside.  
  
WAIT, KITTY IS IN IMMEDIAT DANGER, IN THE REC ROOM, THAT'D BE BOBBY BRING HIM TOO! Kurt nodded vigorously and walked towards the rec. room.  
  
"Get back here now!" Bobby yelled as he past him, running after Jamie, running towards the rec. room. Jamie dived into Jamie, but not before grinning lopsidedly at the TV.  
  
"I'm not getting up," Jubilee stated very end of discutionly.  
  
"Me too it's like totally being beaten by technology."  
  
"Stupid little midget!" Bobby advanced on Jamie who wasn't paying the least bit of attention to him. Bobby looked at what he was looking at and froze. (A.N. BAD sticky pun!) He slowly lowered his outstretched hands from Jamie's throat and sat down on the floor.  
  
"I vill save you Keety!" Kurt shouted and burst into the room, to find the five of them hypnotized by the television. He saw what they were watching and and sat down in front of the couch.  
  
"Keety I didn't know you ver (?) into these kind of things!"  
  
"I like wasn- am totally not!"  
  
******************  
  
"Mwahahahaha! AhahahaHA HA HA!!" Amara cackled insanely as she danced around a pillar of flame in the back yard. Debris was quickly turning to ash; thus a fifty-foot radius scorch mark was born.  
  
******************  
  
"Ting, ting, ting," Pyro said sulkily as he kicked a pop can. He was bored, at the very least. "Ting." He kicked it into the road.  
  
"Now look what you gone and did! Oh who am I badinaging?" He sniggered, then sighed. "This place just isn't any fun." He suddenly became alert.  
  
"My conflagration senses are tingling!" Pyro looked into the distance and smiled.  
  
******************  
  
"Stupid bloody wall! Nothing will keep me from my beloved!" Pyro neatly climbed the wall and dropped onto the other side (yes it is possible, he just didn't land well), and got up running. He had to get to it, it would be his! Pyro all but drooled when he saw the pillar, and then he noticed her. She was beautiful, the very essence of the flame. The fire dissipated, the goddess reverted to human form, and without a word she walked into the mansion. He stood agape.  
  
"I think It's love, I really do."  
  
******************  
  
"You get up and change it," Rahne said to Kitty.  
  
"You, like, get up and change it," Kitty said to Jubilee.  
  
"You get up and change it," Jubilee said to Bobby.  
  
"You get up and change it," Bobby said to Kurt.  
  
"You get up and change it," Kurt said to Jamie.  
  
"You people are so incredibly lazy!"  
  
"Am not," They all said simultaneously.  
  
"I know you are but what am I?" Bobby asked, he really did think it was a good come back.  
  
"Lazy."  
  
"I know you are but what am I?"  
  
"Lazy."  
  
"I know you are but what am I?"  
  
"Lazy."  
  
"AAAAAA! Avert thine eyes!" Amara screamed and hurled a fireball at the t.v.. . It shot out sparks.. .then melted. Everyone just sat there blinking, then as one turned to Amara.  
  
"How could you? There are children present!"  
  
"Easy, you just push in numb- shutting up."  
"Hey! You're only two years older then me!"  
  
"And those years make all the difference. But really, what if the Professor found out, or Logan?" Everyone cringed at the thought.  
  
"He's probably the one that ordered it!" Jamie said smiling; Kitty whacked him upside the head. And then there were three.  
  
"OWW!"  
  
"You know who like I think it was?" Bobby shook his head, and was whacked.  
  
"I think it was like that creepy French guy that just joined. um Remy!" Everyone looked thoughtful.  
  
"I am NOT FRENCH!" A voice yelled from upstairs.  
  
"Are too!" They all shouted.  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"AM NOT!"  
  
"You are and you know it!"  
  
"Goddamnit! Je ne SUIS pas français! Les gosses stupides de fucking!"(refer to bottom page.)  
  
"See." He slowly faded away, muttering to himself.  
  
"You know, it was just HBO, it could have been a mistake," Rahne pointed out. She froze and sniffed the air, then stared at Kurt, or more precisely the tin in his hand.  
  
"Vat? Are these yours, they veer in the snak pile." She reached out and grabbed the tin from him.  
  
"You could've asked!" She ignored him, and read the label, it said: Gondolier's Hazelnut Cream Wafers. She took out one of the cream filled wafer sticks, sniffed it, nibbled at the end, and wolfed (BAD! BAD STICKY PUN!) the tin down. She twitchily searched in all directions. MORE! THERE HAS TO BE MORE!  
  
"MORE! Do we have any more?" Jubilee slowly shook her head.  
  
"I MUST HAVE MOOOOORRRRREEE!" She all but screamed and ran to the kitchen. Kitty sighed.  
  
"Well that's like it for the t.v." Bobby glared at Amara, who didn't look the least bit ashamed.  
  
"Well why didn't you just change the channel?"  
  
"Because, none of us wanted to admit being beaten by technology," He explained, it was so simple, why didn't she understand?  
  
"Ya, and it was just getting to the good part! OW!" (three more) Jamie said rubbing the back of his head, then muttered. "You just don't want to admit it, and I'm called immature-OW! Stop hitting me! That's child abuse!"  
  
"It is like totally not," Kitty said rolling here eyes.  
  
"Yes it is, I should take you to court!"  
  
"Like you'd have a case."  
  
"I think I have a bruise already."  
  
"Oh I'll give you a bruise!" Kitty advanced on ringleader Jamie.  
  
"CHILD ABUSE! CHILD ABUSE!" Jamies shouted, and started hitting themselves (Oh, around.let's say twenty more? (A.N. My brother actually did this, he failed to realize he's a terrible actor who can't keep a straight face even when he's hitting himself, that and my mom was in the room.)).  
  
"Quit that!"  
  
"No! OW! Kitty, please, I'm sorry!" He yelled (grinning) then all the Jamies jumped into the original multiple.  
  
"What the hell are you damn kids doing?" Logan growled from the doorway. " " Double naughty! Kitty wouldn't stop hitting me! Amara melted the t.v. and Kitty started hitting me!" Logan raised an eyebrow at the t.v.  
  
"I did soo not you little liar!" Kitty tackled Jamie and started strangling him Homer Simpson style.  
  
"Knock it off!" Logan said, pulling her off.  
  
"You, all, outside, now! And you," he turned to Jamie. "nice one, don't lie." He walked out shaking his head.  
  
"Liars go to hell," Bobby muttered.  
  
"Don't push your luck, I will beat you up again!"  
  
"You never did in the first place! Don't pick fights you can't win."  
  
"I can take you anytime! Come on, outside!" He jumped up and ran outside.  
  
"Kids," Bobby muttered and followed.  
  
"Vell, it vas good vhile it lasted!" He stood up and stretched then BAMFED. *cough cough*  
  
"I don't think I should, I'm feeling queezy." Jubilee said holding her stomach, Kitty nodded.  
  
"TV withdrawal, so common, so sad." Amara's evil grin re-appeared.  
  
"You wanna go find another one?" Kitty smiled.  
  
"That is such like a great idea! But who has one?"  
  
"Jean,"  
  
"Fine then, TO JEAN'S ROOM!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ok.. What ya think? Ok I know I screwed up the accents, details sucked, format isn't (how do you spell an'te an't aent anet crap.) the greatest. fuck. now it sounds like crap... TRIPLE NAUGHTY! So review NOW. ideas and creepy stories are always welcomed. how do you think this all started? What from original ideas? *Bursts into laughter* But really. More to come. eventually. Yes I know sister dear I won't abandon this one, it will be mine. foorrreeevvveeerrr.  
  
(A.N. Oh, I had sooo much fun with the translators. sooo much fun ^twitch^) Here's what I put in. Goddamnit! I AM NOT FRENCH! Stupid fucking kids!... Here's what I got out. Goddamnit! I AM not French! The childlike stupid one of fucking!. It works so it'll stay. Does anyone know what CN stand for? Figure it out and I'll give you a nice shiny cookie *holds out metallic cookie*  
  
NEXT TO COME. STAPLERS.SNOW.NETS.AND HACKY SACK!!! 


	2. Imbroglio

'=thoughts ""=speech **=action ()= AN/BN ^^ around words in a sentence are said by other people at the same time. Also the time lapsed isn't exact so some thing may seem delayed, use your own fricken imagination will you?!   
  
A.N. YES I am aware that the accents are horribly off, AND as an added bonus for this fic only! Off set character personalities + dialogues WAHOOO! Don't you feel special? There are STILL tons of screw-ups in this, I'll get around to fixing them sometime… But I had to post this today, I WILL take it down to add and revise as soon as possible though…   
  
DISCLAIMER: This is not mine, all characters are someone else's demented delusions. In fact I did not even write this, you have wandered into a antiacuality void and stumbled across this… I believe you need a map, unfortunately I'm all out… You are now officially screwed. Have a nice day…   
  
Quotes of the chap.: Oh course you should fight fire with fire, you should fight everything with fire! If you love something set it free, if it comes back set it on fire. (wow I see a recurring theme!)   
  


Krys Xanthina;Yes, it was Cartoon Network, and yes the cookie is shiny, all hale the Cookie! *hands cookie over, rather reluctantly* Do you by any chance read the Xanth series by Piers Anthony? Just asking…

WerewolfLass; Cartoon Network is good; I think most people think the same, and once my minions find everyone else, they will too.

 enfant-terrible; Sure you can have a muffin… *hands over a slightly yellowish muffin* It's home made… *looks at flamingo1 out of corner of eyes*

Officially*Obsessed*with*Pyro; I think we all are, Pyro is awesome, he is one of my all time favs… Thank you, I'm particularly attached too the "I AM NOT FRENCH" line, there was another conversation that went to that, but is was just a little too naughty for posting…

Flamingo1; ACK! Look I updated! See, I'm being good, yes… good… HA! You take my non-hangover rights and you'll never see sugar again! In ANY of its forms! Caffeine included!

  
**   
  
Rogue stood shaking over the bodies of her closest friends. The moment that the shadows had died, they changed into everyone of her team mates.   
'Oh God no,' she whispered, looking down at the blood that covered her hands, that covered everything. She felt something moving over her skin, the blood was slowly enveloping her, where it touched she could no longer move. It surrounded her head, and like a statue she stood. She couldn't move, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't scream.   
The bodies were gone, just gone. She became mobile, and hacked as her previous struggles for air were now fulfilled. Rogue was light headed as she looked around; a strange red light suffused everything. She blinked, and saw the red through her eyelids. She sensed something and opened her eyes. In the distance more shadows were coming. She would have to fight them, she would have to kill them. Rogue was scared, of what was happening, of what she would have to do, but she would. If that's what it took, if she didn- and then they were upon her. 'Ah have tah get out, ah can' stay here!'   
  
*   
  
Many years later. Rogue had become an expert killer, having to do so to survive. The pain from repeatedly seeing her friends die had long since numbed. And still this world did not relent an exit. One day she simply came to terms with it.   
'Ah'm never gettin' out, am ah?' She asked to the world in general. A wave of emotions hit her. She was stuck. Someone began giggling, someone that she remembered, more voices joined in. The ground began to shake with the combined sound. The voices intensified, drowning out the drums, and like a pane of glass the world shattered.   
Rogue found herself being dragged through a black void; a kind of echoed scream seeming to lead her. She jerked to a stop, and slowly opened her eyes. She hadn't realized they were closed, that probably accounted for the darkness. A giant neon sign greeted her.   
"End of tha line, please step off carefully," Rogue read slowly, she looked behind over her shoulder and sure enough there was a line of mannequins as far as the eye could see. The sign changed.   
"Please continue, do not hold up tha line, fahne." She stepped off.   
  
*   
  
Her breathing steadied as the still form began to wake up, she turned over and opened her eyes.   
"Ah'm home? Ah'm home!" She sat up quickly, pushing aside the blankets and running over to the mirror. She stared agape at her reflection.   
"Ah look so much youngah," She said incredulously and touched her cheek.   
"So it was a dream, but it was so real. How come ah can' remembah any of it?" She closed her eyes and tried to recall the dream. 'It was- there were shadows- an' red, ev'rythang red, an' drums?" She opened her eyes, and realized something was horribly wrong, there was an awful lot of red.   
"No!" She turned around and franticly searched the room. It was red, all of it. There was a noise out in the hall. Rogue instantly became alert, searching the room for escape routes. The window. She quickly walked over and looked down into the yard. There were several shadow-beasts, on the ground, standing around and looking lost. 'Damn!' She didn't want to fight any more, she just wanted them to leave her alone. Rogue went over to the door and pressed her ear to it, there were definitely something out there. 'Damn! Surrounded, ah've got ta be prepared.' She looked around at the room and cringed.   
"Damn ah was messy!"   
  
**   
  
"This fighting can not continue, we need to be mature and call a truce," Jamie said solemnly, standing with his hands on his hips.   
"Pretty grown-up sentence squirt, you hear that on TV somewhere?" Bobby joked, walking past him.   
"No I'm not, I just think all this petty bickering is below us, friends?" He held out his hand to Bobby, who just looked at it.   
"You're plotting something, I know you are," He accused, and glared at Jamie, who sadly shook his head, sighed, and then ran off into the trees. Bobby sighed as well.   
"Stupid kids."   
  
**   
  
"Didn' that used to be a TV?" Sam asked, crouched down and poking the pile of melted plastic/glass.   
"Didn't there used to be people here?" Roberto muttered, leaning against the doorway.   
"Bwahahahahahaha! Teach you to put Jell-O in my bed!" Ray cackled, running outside. He was clutching a wad of clothing and glared with fierce concentration.   
"Was that Ray?" Sam asked, not looking up from the blob he was prodding (*shudder*! I just noticed that… NOT intended! NOT INTENDED!).   
"Yes, yes it was," Roberto said, slightly worried, whatever Ray was up to, it had revenge written all over it, in florescent yellow.   
  
**   
  
Pyro drunkenly stumbled up the ladder to their current secret base; it was a tree house, in the back yard of an abandoned house. Well the house wasn't abandoned, more along the lines of process-of-moving-in. But they didn't know that, they didn't care, it was a nice tree house.   
"Remin' Remy ag'in why we are livin' in dis kids tree house?" Remy asked, bent over double from the 4ft ceiling.   
"It's convenient and free," Magneto said from an overly too small chair. Colossus sat in silence with his knees to his chest looking out the window.   
"I'm never goin' t' stan' up straight agin," Gambit muttered bitterly.   
"Lovely day isn't it? Bloody beautiful weather we're having," Pyro said dreamily as he entered the base. Remy arched an eyebrow.   
"What happen' to you mon ami?" Pyro gave him a lopsided smile.   
"Can't ya hear those birds, strange, never noticed them before." Magneto stood up and, hunchbacked, walked over to him. He stared into his eyes, then grabbed him by the shoulders and shook violently.   
"What have you done with my fire crazed psycho?!"   
'STOP PRODUCTION! YOU!' The disembodied voice seemed to point at Remy.   
'YES YOU, YOU'RE AT THE WRONG SET! THAT'S BETTER!' They all stood outside the X-Men's mansion, Colossus still sitting and Magneto and Remy still hunched over.   
'STAY IN YOUR SCENES *snort* ACTORS!!!!'   
"Who w- OH NO! Where is my bucket?" Magneto yelled, franticly searching in all directions. "Must find my bucket!" *Shifty eyes*   
" "HE'LL be able to read my thoughts!" Magneto eyes went wide. "IT'S STILL IN THE TREEHOUSE! Precious I will come for you!" He shouted, striking a dramatic pose before running off the grounds, a large dust cloud trailing behind him.   
"An' dat's who comman's us?" Remy sadly shook his head. He instantly became alert, there seemed to be yelling from the front yard.   
"There seems to be yelling," Piotr spoke up.   
"Non, how'd you ever deduce dat?" Remy said rolling his eyes.   
"Simple, I listen."   
"Come on," Remy said and led them up front. He said nothing as Pyro quietly snuck into the mansion. 'Never knew de homme had it in him. He hasn' even set a single ting on fire today. E'der we've finally got him trained, or-' Then he remembered how he had looked earlier, and grinned. 'Bout time, feel sorry for de fille t'ough.'   
  
**   
  
"Shhh! Like, hurry up!" Kitty whispered, acting as commando (*Bwahahahahah!?!*) leader.   
"I feel like I'm on a covert mission or something," Jubilee whispered, close behind.   
"Oh shut up you grunt," Amara said, with an evil grin.   
"What?"   
"SHHH! We don't, like, want anyone to hear us!"   
"Um, who would be up here?"   
"Logan! Or like that Fren- other guy."   
"I don't think they're even here."   
"Where's Jean and Scott?" Jubilee suddenly asked.   
"What?" They both asked at the same time.   
"Well, I mean has anyone seen them this morning?"   
"Um, I think they said they were, like, going to the library to study," She heard voices and motioned for them to flatten against the wall.   
*Giggling* "Scott, you can be such a fruitcake sometimes," (A.N. *snorts*) A giggly Jean said from the other side of the wall.   
"It's just so, uh, small, and uh, fuzzy." Kitty and Jubilee snorted. Clutching their faces they sank to the floor, practically biting through their lips trying not to laugh. Amara walked over to the keyhole and looked through (If there wasn't one there before, there is now. This is my world, get over it (Bwahahahahaha!)).   
"IT has a name you know," Jean said and continued to look through the glass cage. Scott just gave her a blank look. Kitty and Jubilee were now in spasms, attempting to breath and not laugh at the same time, didn't seem to be working that well.   
"It's Mr. Snuffles, isn't it Mr. Snuffles?" She said in a sickeningly sweet voice and opened the cage. Kitty and Jubilee stopped convulsing and sat up. They gave each other horrified looks.   
"Mr. Snuffles?" Kitty and Jubilee whispered.   
"Mr. Snuffles? Um, why?" Scott asked, giving the fur ball a God-I-would-hate-to-be-you look.   
"Because, Snuffles has a runny nose and sneezes a lot." Kitty and Jubilee both clutched their mouths, looks of nausea on their faces   
"Is that even possible?"   
"I, like, hope not!"   
"Get over here," Jean was chasing the fuzz ball around the cage, she had it cornered and shaking.   
"There we go, stop squirming will you!"   
"I don't think he wants to be held." Kitty and Jubilee were clutching each other, terrified, but under the deer-in-the-headlights effect.   
"What are you doing?" Scott asked.   
"I'm petting him, you want to?" Jean set Snuffles on Scott's shoulder.   
"Not rea- AAH! Get off, get away from me!" He shook him off. Jean giggled.   
"Scott, you are such a child," She picked up Snuffles and put him on her shoulder. Where he sniffed around, sneezed, and promptly went down her shirt.   
"Not again, come on, GET OUT OF MY SHIRT! OW, I am cutting your nails!" Jean was half bent over and reaching up her shirt. 'Lucky bastard.' Scott thought, glaring at the fuzz ball.   
"Fine, back in your cage," Jean had fished Snuffles out and placed him back in his cage. "And I heard that by the way.¡±   
"Who would have thought that THEY were into that kind of thing?" Kitty snorted, "Whips and leather."   
"Ewww! Did NOT need to think about that!" (I TOLD you I'd bring back the disturbing images! But you didn't believe me, DID YOU?!)   
"TMFI, TMFI!"   
"What?"   
"Why hasn't she noticed us yet?"   
"Would you if you were, like, in there?"   
"If I was in there I'd throw up." Kitty nodded.   
"I think we all would."   
"How would you like to be that lucky bastard?" Jean said, turning to face Scott. Amara violently pushed away from the door.   
"I think we should get out of here!"   
"I think I'd like to-" Scott said.   
"AAAHHH!" They screamed and ran down the hall.   
  
*   
  
"What was that?" Jean asked, standing up straight.   
"I'll, um, go check." Scott peered out the door, and saw the three turn the corner. His face flushed the color of his shades.   
"Uh. It was probably the new recruits goofing around."   
"Thank god they think we're in the library."   
(A.N. Ok, that was kind of fun, but, EEEWWWW! bad BAD images! Must get rid of Jott images! *picks up red-hot poker*)   
  
**   
  
"What do you think he's up to?"   
"Don't know."   
"Did you see what he was- WHAT THE HELL?!" Roberto stared in dumbfounded anger at the fountain in the front yard, everything was normal, except for the Tweety boxers on its head.   
"Um, I take it those are yours?" Sam asked innocently, fighting off a smile. Roberto twitched.   
"Yes, they are."   
"So that's what he had."   
"I'll kill that little bas-"   
"An' what seems to be de problem here?"   
Roberto and Sam spun around, Roberto, in his blind fury at what Ray had done, spun a wee bit too far. He was now facing Sam, who turned him slightly to face the intruders.   
"How did you get here?" Roberto exclaimed, glaring at Remy. "Oh, yeah, you just joined," He turned to Colossus and pointed dramatically.   
"What are YOU doing here?" Colossus blinked.   
"Just joined."   
"Um, are dose boxers on dat fountain's head?" Remy asked, admiring the art work. Roberto-*shifty eyes*.   
"Why yes they are," He said, a twitch to each word.   
"An' dey yours?"   
"Yes they are!"   
"Hmmmm."   
"And such a lovely pair zey are!" Kurt said, bamfing onto the fountain.   
"Bwahahaha! Mine now!" He grabbed the boxers with his tail and on all fours bounded off.   
"Come back here you blue- argh!!" Roberto chased after Kurt, who was on a ledge dangling the boxers right above him. Sam shrugged and wandered into the mansion to get a snack. Someone yelled in the back yard.   
"There seems to be a lot of that around here."   
"Remy's tinkin' dis place not be for migraine sufferers."   
He sighed. "Com'mon."   
  
**   
  
"Hey, look what I found!" Jamie shouted and dropped onto the ground, where he then fell backwards onto his ass.   
"Ow! Stupid ground, why does it have to be so hard."   
"What is it?" Bobby asked, standing over him.   
"This." Jamie held out his hand and showed him the red hacky sack in his hand.   
"Hey! That's mine! I lost it months ago!" He reached out, Jamie set it in his hands. Bobby smiled.   
"So, you wan'na play?" Jamie looked at his surprised. No one had ever asked him to "play" before, maybe Bobby wasn't that much of an ass.   
"Really, you want to play with me?"   
"Sure, come on." He grasped his hand and pulled him up.   
  
**   
  
"I wonder what we have that's edible?" Sam walked into the kitchen, all the cupboards were open, boxes and cartons littered the floor, and in the middle of all this was a perfect tuna fish can pyramid, including a little oasis complete with a pond (don't what to know of what) and broccoli trees. 'Looks like there's a Poltergeist.' A growling began to his right; he turned and was grabbed by the collar and shoved against the wall. Half wolf Rahne leaned in close to his face and still growling said.   
"Where did you put them?" He gave her a blank look, with just a tad bit of panic mixed in.   
"Where?!" She pushed him farther up the wall.   
"I don't know what you're talking about!"   
"The Gondoliers! Where are they?"   
"Gondoliers? I don't know where they are." She slammed him into the wall.   
"But I know where you can buy some." She lowered him so their eyes were only a few inches apart. 'My god!' He thought in amazement. 'She's stunning. How come I've never noticed before? She's been here the entire time, and I never saw it!' He mentally kicked himself, and he was wearing cleats.   
"Where?"   
  
**   
  
"No, no! With the SIDE of your foot, like this," Bobby lifted his leg sideways (wow, interesting visual) bent at the knee, Jamie nodded and did likewise (now everyone's doing it!).   
"Good, let's try again." Bobby tossed the sack to Jamie, he kicked it like he was told, but with just a bit too much enthusiasm and it shot sideways, to hit someone rather tall that had just turned the corner. Colossus slowly looked down at the sack, then at the fairly terrified Jamie.   
"Jamie get behind me," Bobby commanded, holding his arm protectively. Jamie quickly complied. (ooh, fancy sentence)   
"What are you doing here?"   
"Does everyone here have short-term memory loss? I just joined." Bobby looked confused.   
"Oh, that's right. But what about YOU?" He pointed at Colossus. 'Well it has worked so far.'   
"I have also recently joined, may I play?" All three of them stared at him in amazement.   
"Uh, sure. You know how to play?"   
"Da."   
"Alright." Colossus smiled and bent down to pick up the hacky sack.   
"You game?" Bobby asked Remy   
"Non, Remy'll sit dis one out." Bobby shrugged.   
"You ready?" Bobby whispered to Jamie, who poked his head over Bobby's shoulder and nodded.   
"Ok, let's play." (Bwahahaha! I don't have to describe the game! Trust me, that's a good thing.)   
  
**   
  
"I am like never going to think of them the same again!" Kitty said in disgust as they turned the corner.   
"I'm going to be sick," Jubilee muttered and sat down.   
"How could you watch that and not be throwing up?" Amara grimaced.   
"It is hard, but I am strong." Amara did and never would tell them exactly what occurred in that room, this way was more fun.   
"So, who else has a TV?" Jubilee asked, leaning up against the wall.   
"Um, Mr. Logan has one, and uh, someone had a portable one," Amara said.   
"Well, I'm not like desperate enough yet to go in Logan's room, and Rogue's the one with the mini one, but it's like black and white." Amara shrugged.   
"At this point does it matter?"   
  
**   
  
She had scouted her room for useful resources and had found her old fish net shirt. She constructed it into a net, and it was currently suspended above the door.   
"Ah had so much junk," Rogue said, throwing random things behind her back. She was sorting through everything on her desk and separating the useful from the trash.   
"But, they weren' junk at tha tahm." Her eyes lit up when she saw the radio player.   
"Music, Ah remember music." She lovingly slid her hand over to the power button and switched it to on.   
"And you still won't hear me, don't want your hand this time I'll save myself, maybe I'll wake up for once. Not tormented daily defeated by you. Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom." She smiled. 'Ah remember this song, it's bah Disappearance or somethang.' She stood up, silently enjoying the welcomed change from the single beat of the drums/heartbeat.   
"Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies, so I don't know what's real and what's not." It's weird, how some songs seem to come on just for you, when the lyrics sum up so much of what's going on in your life.   
"Always confusing the thoughts in my head, so I can't trust myself any more." Rogue was moving in time to the music, for once in a long time she felt as though she could let down her defenses, without having to worry about survival. It was nice to live in the moment, even for this one instant.   
"I'm dying again, I'm going under. Drowning in you, I'm falling forever, I've got to break through, so go on and scream, scream at me I'm so far away, I won't be broken again, I've got to breathe I can't keep going under." A commercial for Trojan Condoms began, she made a disgusted face and changed the station.   
"Everyday is a winding road, I get a-" Rogue shuddered and hurriedly changed it again.   
"Bye Bye-"   
"NO!" She franticly clawed at the tuning dial. Jazz poured out, decent but not what she was looking for. For God knows how long she flipped through the stations searching for familiar and tolerable songs.   
"Forsaken me, Trust in my self-righteous suicide." She nodded in approval and walked over to the door. Leaning down she pressed her ear to the wood.   
"Why cry when angels deserve to die." Silence issued from the hall, but she had the feeling that 'they' were still out there. She stood up and went over to the window.   
"In my self-righteous suicide, why cry when angels deserve to die." There were still shadow-beasts down on the ground, but they were occupied with kicking something between then, badly.   
"In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey." She grinned and dragged a chair over by the door, where she then sat.   
"Butane in my veins so I'm out to get the Junkie, with the plastic eyeball, spray paint the vegetables, dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose. Kill ^I don't like think she's in there, does it matter?^ The headlights and put it in neutral." Rogue instantly became on-guard, it would seem they had found her.   
"Stockcar flaming with a loser in the ^If she is then we'll have to ask^ cruise control, baby's in Reno with the vitamin D ^Well if she says no then you distract her and I'll like grab it." The voices (girls) were now up to the door. 'What are thay planning? Thay must be getting' smarter, but not by much.'   
"Got a couple of couches, sleep on the loveseat, someone came saying I'm a saint, I'm insane." The door opened, Kitty (remember to Rogue these are shadow-creatures) walked in. Rogue made herself unseen until the right moment.   
"To complain about a shotgun wedding." Amara and Jubilee followed, the net descended upon the two of them and with a pull of a cord closed them both inside. Rogue knew their powers well, she had their strengths and weaknesses to memory, they could do harm, but only when conscience.   
"And a stain." She pounced on the netted mass and slammed a hardback book into Jubilee's head. A split second later Amara's temple met Rogues foot, as first impressions go it could have gone better.   
"On my shirt, don't ^Rogue! What-^?" Rogue was momentarily caught off guard, never before had one of the shadow-beasts spoken, beyond garbled growling. 'An' just who did ya think it was out there? They're not getting' smarter, you're getting' slower!' She bounded towards the shadow-Kitty and threw a punch that went straight through it.   
"Don't believe everything that you breath." Rogue regained her balance after the failed attack, she crouched down and attempted to kick its legs out from under it, again it passed right through. 'Damnit! Of all of them, it had ta be tha phasin' one.'   
"You got a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve (A.N. Has anyone heard of Maggott? Japheth (I don't know his last name) is a mutant (comic world) he has two maggots that curl around his wrists (they're actually his intestines, but then his mutation kicked in) Their names? Eany and Meany disturbing huh?) ^Rogue! It's me-^". A fist passed through its face.   
"So shave your face with some mace in the dark ^Kitty! ^ saving all your food stamps ^for burnin' down tha trailer park!^" (BWAHAHAHA!) Rogue sang along as she faked a roundhouse punch and instead kicked out its legs from behind. 'What's wrong with her? Oh God, Rogue what happened? Got to get out of here, that one hit,' Kitty thought. She rolled forward, grabbing onto her unconscious friends, then disappeared through the floor.   
"Yo, cut it, Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me, double barrel buckshot, Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me." 'Thay'll be back, an' with more.' Well, she no longer had her net, but that was fine. Rogue walked over to her bookcase and selected a particularly large hard backed book.   
"Forces of evil on a bozo nightmare, ban all the music with a phony gas chamber." She shut the door and resumed her ambushing station and waited.   
"Cause one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag, one's on the pole, shove the other in the bag." Even though she was still completely alert she grinned. 'Got ta love this song.' Then she sang along with the rest of the song.   
"With tha rerun shows and cocaine nose job, tha daytahm crap," A voice yelled from down in the yard, it sounded like a faint yet accusing; "Naughty!" "of tha folk singers slop, he hung himself with a guitar string."   
She found herself wondering if that was possible and jotted it down in the notepad of her mind, to try it on someone someday.   
"A slab of turkey neck and it's hangin' from a pigeon wing, Ah can't write if ya' can't relate, trade tha cash for tha beef for tha body for tha hate, and my tahm is a piece of wax, fallen on a termite who's chokin' on tha splinters." And so it went, and it was good.   
  
**   
  
The game had gone well, up to that one point when Jamie had inexplicably began yelling. Remy clasped his hands over his ears, Bobby cringed and created ice earplugs, and Colossus stood stock still, blinking.   
"Merde dat garcon has some damned big lung capacity," Remy muttered, rubbing his throbbing ears. Jamie in his momentarily dumbfoundedness by the new vocabulary forgot his trademark admonishment (AAAHHH! Too many big words! My brain is melting!).   
"What was that?" Jamie asked, tilting his head to the side.   
"What was what?" Remy asked, inserting his finger in his ear and rotating.   
"That thing you said."   
"Which one?" Damnit, now he had to pop his ears.   
"Both."   
"Merde is shit, garcon is boy (wow, if I got those wrong I deserve to fail French)," he said without thinking. Jamie's eyes lit up with a hazy look of admiration. 'I have a new best friend!' He slowly walked towards Remy, pure evilness shining in his eyes.   
"I must know more, you WILL teach me." Jamie stubbed his toe on a rock, not even blinking at the pain.   
"You will teach us all," all 13 Jamies chorused in stereo. 'Remy tinks he be havin' second t'oughts about dis place.' He jumped up and ran into the mansion, muttering to himself.   
Jamie watched his hope of mischief climb into a window. (That's one version you don't hear often.) Kurt wouldn't teach him German, Roberto wouldn't teach him Portuguese, Rahne wouldn't teach him Gaelic, Jubilee wouldn't teach him Chinese, Storm wouldn't teach him Swahili, (whew! Did I miss someone?) and this new guy wouldn't teach him French.   
"I'll be stuck with English forever!" He slumped down onto a stump and sniffled. Colossus walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.   
" Все упование не потеряно." (Entire hope is not lost.) My name is Piotr." (We Will find out someone who knows how to pronounce his name, we WILL! Jessica: ~pats on shoulder~ of course we will, mein schwester) Jamie looked up at him with bright eyes, his hopes renewed.   
"Nice to meet you Peter, I'm Jamie." Piotr shook his head sadly.   
"Your first lesson is how to properly pronounce my name." Bobby could see he was no longer wanted, he looked for the hacky sack but it was strangely absent, he sighed.   
"Never liked the color anyway."   
  
**   
  
THUD! THUD!   
"Ow!" Kitty yelped, rubbing her elbows, which she had landed on.   
"Teddy, where's teddy?" Jubilee muttered in her sleep, searching around her.   
°SQUIRRELS!" She then shouted, jumping to her feet and running, albeit the net was still on them, thus she didn't get far before falling.   
"What the fuck is the problem with you runts?" Logan snarled, he was leaning over the railing so as to see them. At the sound of his voice Jubilee shot awake.   
"ALFALFA!" She screamed, her eyes snapping open to see Logan's face hovering above hers, 14 feet above her but still an unwanted sight.   
"Holy shit!! There's a smurf in the mansion!" She said, then   
rolled over and fell back asleep.   
"I'm not going to ask, I'm not going to ask," Logan muttered and turned to go.   
"Ha HA! You vill never get zem back! Zey are mine now!"   
"Give me back my underwear!" Kurt turned his head and stuck out his   
tongue, and then he ran into something, something that shouldn't have been there, something that no longer WAS there.   
"Kurt," a voice growled from below the banister.   
"Scheiße!(shit)!" Kurt ported before hearing the rest of the potential death threat.   
"Finally." Roberto picked up his discarded boxers and tucked them in his pocket. He wandered off, whistling to himself.   
Logan began twitching. 'Must repress urge to kill!'   
"I think we should, like, get out of here!" Kitty whispered, and shook Jubilee.   
"Marshmallows! Everywhere, Ted where are you?" Kitty pulled her hand away. 'Just leave them, they'll survive.' Kitty thought and crawled into the safety of the kitchen.   
  
*   
  
Logan at this time had pulled himself back up, and muttering about   
dismemberment began walking back to his room.   
"YOU! How dare you be crooked!" he accused a painting, pointing dramatically.   
"Mmmm." He adjusted it, only for it to tilt the other way. He adjusted it again, it tilted that-a-way, and so this continued until he found himself yelling and stabbed it. He retracted his claws, three 2 inch stab wounds were now obviously visible, and it was still crooked.   
"Crap." Yeah, that's not noticeable. He smoothed it out to the best extent he could and stood back to examine it. He even had managed to get it straight, until it fell. He picked it up and placed it on its hook, it fell.   
"Grrrrrrr!" He picked it up and checked the back, the nail was missing and nowhere to be found.   
"Fuck it." He dropped the painting and walked away, and then he had an idea.   
He returned a minute later with a stapler. The frame was too thick to staple through, which he soon found out. There were now dozens of staples lining the frame, giving it an odd macaroni craftsmanship feel.   
"What in de world are you doing homme?" An amused and slightly alarmed Cajun voice asked. Wolverine turned to the voice and glared in a deranged sort of fashion (scary, eh? by the way, this is Jessica also known as Flamingo1, serpentine's beta!).   
"Stapling," He said just above a growl. Remy blinked, something   
triggered in his brain. Some primal fear kicked into gear that had been   
sleeping for the last nineteen years. Something profound was   
happening, at this all he knew was it felt tingly.   
"Stapler? Agrafeuse!" His eyes were wide as he turned on his heels and swiftly ran into the safety of the nearest room. Within two seconds he was inside.   
"Don't need to know, just don't ask," Logan muttered, looking at the now completely ruined painting.   
"There." He had stapled through the painting's scene itself, it now   
stayed in place. Wolverine turned and left, the task was now complete.   
The painting twitched, but couldn't tilt, and with an audible sigh   
stopped. It had learned a valuable lesson, never screw around with   
Canadians, for they posses the Devil's Wand, and know how to wield it.   
  
***   
  
A.N. Wow that took a long time what do ya think? Third chap is in writing process and hopefully will get posted by the middle of march.   
Trista-*snorts* Yeah, that's going to happen.   
S-You know what? Just shut up. Don't make me lock you in your bubble.   
Trista-Bu-   
S-No, nuh uh, back in the bubble.   
Trista-I don't wan'na go in the bubble!   
(*enter the lovely and talented beta, Jessica can yah tell I wrote this, Tren?*)   
Jessica: Dude, 'sup? Here's your, like, manuscript, man. (*hands large wad of napkins to the authoress and waves to all the coolness readers who review stories*) Peace out, ya'll, I got a flight to reality to catch, life's a bitch ain't it? 

Translator screw ups! Entered+ All hope is not lost…Came out= Whole hope is not rubbed..

  
Trista/Tren/S- Uh, how'd you get here? I thought I locked the door'   
S-Whatever, that's it. Second chap posted uh, what's the date?   
Trista-It's a Saturday.   
Tren-Ya, but what's the date?   
S-I asked YOU!   
Trista/Tren-I don't know.   
S-GRRRRRRR! *face in hand* Whatever, Second chap posted on a Saturday. 

Trista-It's still 04 right?

Tren/S-………  
  
As I said at the beginning this chapter (and possibly the first) will be taken down to revise. SO what'd ya think? I have been told that I do not include enough detail and the story seems too fast pace… What do you think? Too little? Too much? Just right? Also, should chapters be shorter, longer, doesn't matter?


End file.
